Flight of Phoenix

I have come a long way,

Wading through debris of my ashen past.

What I carry with me is no longer,

The burden of my past.

Cos what I felt was only my pain,

Like nobody else did.

It choked my throat, filled my heart and soul.

Over brimmed with tears I could see no hope,

Pain that wanted me to call it quits.

I have come a long way,

From all that hurts.

I do not feign wisdom,

My pain has taught me better.

It's just the realization of being so vulnerable,

what makes me strong.

I have a long way to go,

& I"ll meet you at the end.

Smile

For no reason I want to smile today.
a mischievous one that too!
To look around and drink on the beauty around me...
to be the wide eyed kid in awe again.
I wish to run around,
in the wild... till I can run no further...
yes, I wish to go wild for no reason.

I long for the wide oceans...
to wet my feet and walk on sand,
to sway with the sea winds..
as if I have no power of my own...
to be as light as the sea foam,
and ride on the mighty waves.

To be the just out of shoots, green leaf
that trembles with every breeze,
to be as vulnerable as it once again..
to be as fresh as green as it.
Be the one, to face the rains,storms, and unknowns
and rise up in the sky with my tree.

Yes, I wish to be the sky...
the mighty blue, that changes color...
to lie down under it and be that kid again,
who imagines dragons of the clouds...
To watch it turn from blue to black,
and be its stars..
I want to be a star whose twinkle...
brings out the silly smile in you...
and whose fall, brings hope in you.

A journey that got out of hands

It was a usual Pune-Mumbai rush. Where me and my parents succeeded in getting front row seats in Neeta Volvo. People kept on pouring in intervals and occupying there seats. With the usual drama of same seats being allocated to many. The travelers blamed cleaner and the cleaner blamed the tour operators and the tour operators blamed the weekend rush. Finally everybody was accommodated, the bus started two hours late.

The crowd was usual, a few software engineers, with their laptop bag, a few good-to-do families, and a bunch of students. But still there was a mild bickering at the back, where some travelers had to shift to the rear of bus as others claimed there seats. The bus moved on, an reached a halt to pick up some more travelers. But something else was waiting for us.

We reached at the halt a good two hours late. There were people standing there for two different buses, the one that started earlier then us and our bus. And more people were still pouring in. A guy and his friend got adamant that they will either go in our bus or we all will have to wait for the next bus. They were passengers from the previous bus. Others who were standing for the same bus also got adamant and got into the bus, travelers in the bus were sitting quietly and watching, occasionally asking the cleaner and driver why there was further delay and when the bus was going to move.

Both the guys finally managed to secure a seat for them in bus. The spirit of others outside the bus were lifted and they followed there example to get accommodated by standing in bus and not allowing it to move. By this time people already in bus were done with polite requests. And had started shouting. Few more minutes gone, the shouting turned into swearing. Some of the people who had got into bus went out seeing the angry outburst. But there was this lone guy and possibly his wife who refused to budge. Seeing that he had no intentions of getting out, some travelers reached him and gave him their piece of mind. Soon it turned into swearing again. A guy asked him-Did I say a work to you till now but to hold the bus for 2 hrs is not done you !@$@##$!!! Another older gentleman and his old lady took the liberty of pushing him. The driver was asked to start the bus with these guys. My dad also joined in and started shouting in spite of my telling him not to. All the educated people soon turned into a crowd and then mob. With people shouting from behind hit him! hit him! and those in front pushed the guy out of the moving bus. It was a scary scene to watch. The transformation of sane people into a mindless mob nearly trying to kill a guy and a girl. In all the shouting I tried to plead to the guy and his wife or whatever to get down else the mob will kill you. But well they both were in some other state of mind, probably on an ego trip by now.

Thankfully after the guy was nearly pushed out onto a moving vehicle outside, the girl got back to her senses and managed to get him out of the bus. The mob gradually turned into people and settled into there seats, calling up there relatives, chatting and laughing over the incident.

The two guys who had managed to secure there seats never came out in the entire journey, nor when the other poor guy was getting abused for trying to imitate them. And the best part this all was happening next to a huge police station.

Cat Person

Why the cat? Don't ask me.. I love cats. I can tolerate a dog.

Lots of my neighbors did have a dog and I did have a good repo with them. I remember once when I was standing on terrace of our building and musing over the hardships of life as a teen, something came and hugged me from the back :-O I was just short of falling off the terrace and ending my hardships!! The something turned out to be our dear neighbors bitch Tiffy. Man! she gave fright of my life. No wonder later on I always avoided petting Tiffy, fearing her enthusiastic ways of greeting me.

Cats are better, we had quite a few as pets. As our nearly in jungle quarter was infested with scorpions and snakes of all kinds. Cats have a very non-indulgent way of greeting. They just purr when you pass by to recognize your arrival. Licking and drooling is a strict no-no. Which I like the most. But my cat had some weird habits, the moment I sat anywhere in his vicinity, with lightening bolt agility he would jump into my lap, and refuse to get out any cost :-)

Maukie is definitely in fond remembrance of all our cats. I just wish that she had been a little smaller in size and could have actually run around the mouse... :-)

A nosey affair.

Walking back from work on a friday evening is always funny. You have loads of uncomplete work for coming week. And you have loads of work to complete in weekend. So was I there, walking home on a friday. Thinking hard, thinking nothing. When a rain drop hit me, from no where and dropped straight on my nose!!

It comes as a mild shock when a drop of water hits you on nose. Something like when you are concentrating hard on a speaker, in a meeting room. And suddenly you are so over-powered by sleep that you dont even come to know when you slept. With a jerk goes your elbow, off the arm-rest. And you realize.. damn I was sleeping. Just as the jerks pulls you out of the sleep, the rain drop pulled me off my self-eneveloped world. Where I was only craving for some good food and a good nights sleep.

I look around and realize it is night. Feel the damp air, realize that it is going to rain. And realize that yes there is a world out there which does not go by plans, schedules, and time. So I let the drop guide me. I decide to walk till the drop turns to rains, washes me down. Something that I didnt plan for, that didnt fit in my schedule and for which there was no time. As we all know there will not be again, till a tiny drop hits me, right on my nose.

Resignation and nostalgia

Giving resignation makes you funnily emotional. How much ever you hated your work or people or anything one still gets emotional.

The urge to hug the HR and tell her everthing will be alright. Smile funnily rather stupidly at the not working printer in a this-never-worked-and-will-never-work way. Sighing big time before handing your age old id card "Yeah yeah that is me, yes yes I was that thin a few years back, I always wondered how the security recognized me!!". You tend to get more friendly with all irritating human like beings whose existence you had denied all the time. Be extra good and not only recognize them but also say a word or two. Telling them best of luck for there future and wondering is there a future!!

And finally on your way out, giving an extra wide grin to the security and saying a heartfelt thank you for frisking you so thoroughly, as if you are in habit of carrying bombs to work. You would have actually, given a chance. Probably a few automatic weapons as well, they are always handy. And for the last time you dont even haggle with the autowala for charging you 5-10 rps more "Aah! let it go, anyhow this is the last visit!"

What is loneliness.

Is it cry of a lonely bird,
heard on a quiet rainy day.
Or is it that silent ticking of a clock,
unheard otherwise.

Or may be it is those serene nights,
when we don't speak; or else,
the magic spell of the night will be broken.
Or it is the rising sun,
in all its grandeur, making everything sublime in its presence,
that I watch in awe standing on my terrace.
Or is it the those lazy afternoons,
when I can hear the leaves rustle...

Or is it that strange feeling,
that creeps into me, when I am,
in the middle of a crowd...
and suddenly I'm detached from it.
Smiling foolishly at people unheard,
inside wanting to run away...

May be loneliness is me turning into myself,
me finally getting up and...
walking away from that crowd.